ME!

I sit and stare at the wall all day long, craving for thoughts to think about. This blankness is killing me. When suddenly I visualise the wall turning into a holographic vacuum which sucks me into... this distant hallucination.


I set assail on my vessel of unchained-imagination for a journey which traces its path along the grey-matter in my head. Distant memories twist and turn around me, entrapping me into a helix of fantasy. My eyes implore me to gaze all around. That’s when I hear a voice, which sounds familiar… but I cant recognize it. It pulls me toward itself and as I move ahead, and I see all my failures and disappointments in life pass by. The horizon turns darker. Yet I trudge along in the darkness to seek this phantasmal voice, not knowing where it will lead me. Suddenly, I feel something cold touch me. I turn around to find myself staring into a pair of eyes which are none other than mine, but yet not mine. I see the other myself walk out of this mirror looking like an ashy shadow.


My breathing turns heavy, and I can see vapour condensing around my face each time I breathe out. That’s when the ghost speaks to me. It felt crazy to hear your own voice while you are too shocked to even open your mouth. "You know me right? I am you… Surprised…huh ? And do you know where you are? This is where you do all your thinking. Just look around ! You are killing me, the real you… the real me…Don’t loose yourself out there… to forget what is in here… your heart… my heart!!!" he said poking my chest with his finger. It let a chill down my spine… and I begin to run away… I run away from whom?…MYSELF. I trip over something and plunge into the COLD POOL OF SUPERFICIALITY I have been living in, all this while. I feel uneasy and struggle to stay afloat and gasp for air. That’s when I feel the familiar touch, which pulls me out of near death. And I see him smile as he crouches over me, smiles and then turns around and walks away saying, "There’s still time". I see him disappear in the darkness like a shadow.


I lie down and shut my eyes to get a grip over the things, which just happened. That’s when the familiar muzzy feeling takes me up once again. I feel something pierce my flesh, trying to suck my blood. I open my eyes and smack the god damned mosquito. And feel the warmth of my own blood smeared on my skin. God it feels to be alive! It sure does! Then why kill myself… then why kill him???


SAHIRR SETHHI