Anecdote - Mini G

Well, well. i have been asked to "cut myself loose", "try something different" etc etc..cos people have basically buried themselves under heaps of boredom perusing my writings. to all those ...burn in hell ...'cos i cant help it...hehe!! just kidding..thanks for the insight..so i try my hand at something novel...presenting you an anecdote from my life (well i couldn't find any adjectives to describe my life..i actually thought over it for 3 minutes and 38 seconds!!and then gave up..So thats my life..just MY LIFE). In the process one would find enough evidence of how ruthless God could get (if there exists the supreme power.. I'm still kinda agnostic!)

So here we go...
During the summer vacations of my 5th grade my family...(consisting of 4 cousins, each of them large enough to swallow the other(!), my aunts and my mother) chalked out a plan to visit Fantasy land. For those who don't know where or what Fantasy land is, let me brief you. Its supposed to be an amusement park somewhere in the suburbs (kandivli or borivli or one of these ivlis!). What i still recollect from the region is a pool of water, where my mother claimed an alligator lurked that would gobble me down if i dared to act too smart! I actually believed my mother's words (i was very dumb when i was young, and i also presumed that mothers never lie! The second half of the previous statement helps in proving the first half!)

So, there i was queuing up in Fantasy Land for a ride in Golmol, thats the equivalent of the Rainbow in Esselworld. (For those who are still left in no man's land, its a semi-circularly shaped vehicle which revolves around its centre over 180 degrees in both clockwise and anti-clockwise direction.) A tad of apprehension still clutching me, i made my way bravely to my seat. My cousins, too "tired"(I bet they were all shit scared ) awaited my return and zestfully waved to me from under the shade of a lush green banyan tree. The Operator (he's the one who operates the ride, plus "The Operator" sounds very dramatic!) started the ride and we were all enjoying it. Also, there perpetually has to be a group of girls accompanying me in any amusement park, in any ride, that yelps and screeches at hair splitting frequency to my annoyance. And so it was here. One minute down the ride the yelps started causing severe unrest in my ear drums, till the girl sitting next to me started showing signs of passing out. Till then the shouts bore no meaning, just the an uncanny resemblance to Tarzan and Jane, but now they were very articulate. They urged The Operator to stop the ride. The Operator yelled back in response, " Jamta nahi hai to baitha kaiko?" which simply meant, " If u got no balls, then y the fuck venture?".
Well then, i was in stuck in the middle of a group of girls, one amongst whom was critically ill. Also,I was young and dumb as before mentioned. i went ahead to show my genuine concern for the girl. Asked her what she wanted and how she felt. She wouldn't reply my question, she kept pusihng me away. i tried again and again to keep talkin to her, determined to do a good deed for the day. ( My mum had delved me into a habit of doing atleast one good deed for the day, i am still trying to gorge out the logic behind that from her. The day i succeed, it would be on this blog!) finally i went looked staight into her face and asked her for one last time, "Kya hua?"
And what a pity! i didnt see it coming. she opened her mouth wide open and fluids overflowing from her mouth -i could see it. at a distance of 15 inches from my face a slimy, semi-solid, quite viscous, ochre coloured liquid, heading straight at me. And SPLASH! The vomitus was now shrouding my face, not leaving any area uncovered. As if the incovenience of a blurred vision wasn't enough, a strong stench followed. I couldn't quite "digest"(!) what was happening in and around me when the girl on my other side started spewing incompletely processed food out of her body through her oral cavity! And i was second time unlucky, another girl had disgorged one me. Well, i must say that i was on fire,only this time,she missed my face by a good 3 feet and my legs bore witness to a wierd external wetness.I felt devastated, i was probably feeling how a chicken raped by an elephant would feel!
The Operator finally showed some signs of stopping and that gave me an insignificant yet helpful dose of relief. When i alighted i could see all my cousins lined up to mock at me. They called me " the Barf feed" (it makes no sense now but rewind 8 years and bears ample significance!). They still call me that at times.But what the hell, i bathed in the water from the alligator pond and was proud enough to have survived!!! And also, whether or not the amusement park amused us, i surely amused the rest of my clan!


Well that's that for now. Hope to come up with more and make a complete ass of myself!