PETA's newest Messiah - Darius Mistry

Let me first state, for the record, that I love dogs, and I’d be lucky to own one. So before you read on, keep that in mind. Any teenyboppers reading this, please do not show up at my door with a sawed off shotgun. Right, this happened to me a few months ago, and I had written about it on another blog. I was going through my hard disk and formatting today morning, and I found it again. Read on…

So a few months back, I was on my way to the station and I was running a bit late. I was walking towards the rickshaw stand, and I noticed this woman selling fish walking in the opposite direction on the other side of the road. I didn’t pay her much attention until she suddenly put her basket down and attracted the neighborhood stray dogs with them.

Anyways, they were on my side of the street, lying down and relaxing in the shade, not bothering anybody. Until they saw this woman. And she was the absolute genius to toss a large smelly fish towards them. Well, to be more accurate she threw it at ME, that is to say, at my feet. Well, as you can imagine, they went pretty wild with it. Six rather dirty brown dogs, all hoping for a fishy lunch, started fighting for it.

Right THERE! At MY feet!

I almost tripped over twice trying to get around them. And I managed to in the end. But in the process, I mistakenly nudged one of them aside with my right foot.

And I swear, it was ONLY a nudge. NOT a kick. So anyways, the dog yelped a bit. It got the message, and moved aside. I got out of that fight that had by now become rather wild. I continued walking towards the rickshaw, quite a bit annoyed at the woman with the basket for doing that.

And then suddenly something cold clutched my left hand in a rather tight grip. I turned around to see this little pimply-faced fat kid glaring menacingly at me. The way he was looking at me, you’d think I’d broken his legs or something.

Me: (scowling at him) What?

Him: “In the name of PETA! I hold you under citizen’s arrest!” (blinks)

I looked at him puzzled for at least 5 seconds, wondering whether to laugh, whether he was joking. First of all, he had pronounced it like the word “pet” with an Aaa at the end.

Me: “What?!”

Him: “Tumne us kutte ko laat maara. Agar Woh Marta toh?!

(You kicked that poor defenseless loveable puppy dog. What would you, Oh big bad monster tall kid do, if he had died?!?!?!)

Me: Laat kaun maara?! (I didn’t KICK him!)

Him: (back to broken English) “No! You now come with me!! I’m taking you to Jail!!”

Me: Shut Up!

Him: EH! U SHUT UP! CHALO! *tugged me again harder*

Me: You insolent little shit. Let go of my hand right now.

He hesitates and looks around at some building. I follow his gaze and catch sight of a woman peering out of a window on the ground floor. Sure enough, it was his mother. She didn’t look too bright either. There were a few things going through my mind at this point. One, I could take an extra minute or two and kick the living shit out of this idiot. Two, I could follow his bluff and follow him to the chowki around the corner. Like hell, they’d believe a little kid. In fact, if I played my cards right I could get HIM locked away for an hour. Tell them he’s insane or something. And three, yank myself free, yell at him and his mother and still try and catch the train that was due at the station in a few minutes.

I took the third option, although I really didn’t want to. I would have dearly loved to stay there finish it off. But I had to be somewhere else. I yanked my hand free, pushed the kid over, who reeled shakily a few feet back. I gave him a look that meant that playtime was over. He got the hint, and headed back inside his gate glumly, while his mother looked on.

So I caught the train, I played the incident back in my mind over and over again. After awhile my anger and frustration for him was soon replaced with sympathy. I pity what he must have to go through every day at school, if he tries shit like this. When I related this incident to a few people, they laughed and so did I. I mean really, imagine what his classmates would do to him if he tried lines like that on them. They’d show him some REAL animal cruelty.

I mean….DAMN!!!

What the hell is WRONG with these kids these days?! They’re getting crazier every day!