KP's Very Vociferously Voiced Voluptuously Vile Verdict...

Disclaimer: Spoiler-free and fun for all the family...

It was with not insignificant amounts of suspicion and doubt that I ventured into the cinema hall today. The source material of the film didn't fill me with a great deal of excitement. After all, even the conceiver and creator of the aforementioned source wanted nothing to do with this flick and wanted his name completely off it and cited the screenplay as being ''rubbish''. With this in mind and the number of aspersions cast on the original 1982-1988 product by my very reliable sources, I was doubly unsure about investing my time and money into this slice of dubious celluloid. But sanity prevailed and with images from the Matrix trilogy, the Animatrix, Assassins and Bound flashing before my eyes, I handed over the money and collected my ticket. And besides, it's not like Andy and Lana Wachowski have let me down before. That's right, I unashamedly loved each of the Matrix movies.

In any case, this was first day-first show and as far as track records go, movies that I've seen first day-first show have never disappointed me (The Two Towers, Return of the King, Matrix:Revolutions, Hulk, Ray, The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and so on). So I sat down, stretched out and smiled at the timing. The lights dimming just as I sat down. Coincidence? Probably... And that word would continue to bombard the viewer throughout the entire 132 minutes of the film. Another Coincidence! But first, I had to put up with a trailer for the franky ridiculous looking Poseidon (Titanic Reloaded?) and the beautifully archaic and outdated Censor Board certificate. The dramatic scrolling and discoloured sequence of the Warner Bros. logo always succeeds in sending a dose of adrenaline screaming through my veins and today was no different.
However, (and what will probably be the ONLY 'spoiler' in this piece) something dealt a sharp and well aimed-kick squarely to the groin of my adrenaline rush. That something was this unbelievably ridiculous opening discourse, which introduces us to our protagonist. I've taken the liberty of reproducing every single word of this verbal diarrhea which really did take the wind out of the sails of my enthusiasm (albeit momentarily).

"Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is it vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished, as the once vital voice of the verisimilitude now venerates what they once vilified. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition.

The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose vis-à-vis an introduction, and so it is my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V."

Fighting the urge to stand, straighten out my slightly stained shirt, strut my stuff, spew and spill my guts all over the screen, spin around, saunter back up and seamelessly sit back down in my seat, I sat silently and sustained the initial setback. (yeah, they're not the only ones who can do this alliteration stuff).

As the next 120 or so minutes unfolded, what I witnessed was a VERY thought provoking little flick, stylishly made and executed. One of the major things that I noticed was the unparalled access to different parts of London, that most film makers have never had and will never have. It's a shame that all this freedom isn't utilised to its fullest though. Of course there were some flaws. There were plotlines that made little to no sense, serious logical flaws and wavering accents. Natalie Portman tarnished a thoroughly polished and mature performance by swaying from a Cockney accent to a posh aristocratic one like a bloody pendulum. The biggest flaw in the entire concept, I felt was the glorification of Guy Fawkes, who coincidentally received a mention in my first ever post on this blog. Another Coincindence!! I don't think particularly highly of him as he was willing to endanger innocent lives in his attempt to blow up the Houses of Parliament. But then, one man's terrorist is another man's freedom-fighter, so I chose not to dwell on it too much.

What I really did love was the dystopian Orwellian society that the movie depicted, with its completely spun and totally perverted media. That really did make me chuckle .. A LOT... Complete with right wing, anti-Islamic, homophobic talk show host. The 1984-esque totalitarian state with an almost-fascist government, with next to zero human rights, curfews, detention camps provided a fairly passé and clichéd scenario. But it was carried off well enough. Plus, there's no mistaking the wrath and anger aimed at the scapegoating and fearmongering and an almost unending 'war on terror' that is very much a part of today's post 9/11 world. Also Stephen Fry aka Gen. Sir Anthony Cecil Hogmanay Melchett (Black Adder Goes Forth) put in a solid performance, making each of his appearances very memorable and engaging. Hugo Weaving's theatrical and ultra-camp voice performance is worthy of standing alongside his brilliant roles as Agent Smith in The Matrix and Douglas Jardine in the Bodyline TV series.

I don't really wish to go into great details about the technical aspects of the flick. Not that it would be as bad as telling people queued up outside a cinema hall to see Star Wars: Episode 5 that Luke's father is Darth Vader, but it would spoil the flick a tiny bit, if you knew what to expect. That being said, it IS a Wachowskis production, so you do the maths. Just like George Lucas will forever be associated with Star Wars and Peter Jackson with Lord of the Rings, so too will the Wachowskis be forever linked with the Matrices. Rather than try and shake off that association and act all cool and arty with an air of "we're trying to take a step in a new direction, so please don't think about the Matrix", they put in ample reminders, both subtle and not-so subtle throughout the flick to remind the viewer repeatedly about their crowning achievement. It's almost as if they're saying, "Enjoy this movie, but you fuckin' better not forget what brought you to your knees with its brilliance. Remember, remember the movie that shook you out of your slumber". Ingenious.

Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed this film and understood that it was in no way, condoning terrorism. I only hope that it isn't banned or misunderstood by people who don't quite grasp the twin-concepts of irony and sattire. That being said, I did feel that its impact would be fairly soft, just like the impact of Rang de Basanti. Understandably, RdB did spawn legions of people gathering outside cinema halls deep in conversation about revolution, webloggers all over cyberspace, SMSers SMSing TV channels with horribly inarticulate messages about a revolution and general cyberwaste. It is my belief that this movie will also give rise to a number of discussions and calls for revolution, which will eventually be about as succesful as any of the revolutions spawned by RdB. Both films were powerful, but ultimately unrealistic in this world we inhabit, where consequences and causality are permanent forces that do not disappear after 2 and a half hours. That is to say, unrealistic if taken literally. If taken as a symbol, as the protagonist urges his young female cohort and the general viewing public to, this is a very powerful film. You would also be well advised to go and watch it for yourself. And should you choose to do so, watch with your eyes peeled. There are a number of humorous references to the present day world and the hypocrisy and injustices prevalent herein. Another must-do-thing is to stay in the cinema hall until the credits and listen to the fantastic song that plays over the credits. It comes on almost just as the cast list begins to roll, and I believe its called BKAB by a guy called Ethan Stoller. This song contains excerpts from speeches by my hero, Malcolm X ("On Black Power" ) and Gloria Steinem ("Address to the Women of America") and some cuts from (believe it or not) 'Churake Dil Mera' from the film Main Khiladi Tu Anari and 'Pardesi Jana Nahin' from Raja Hindustani. I kid you not!

As I was leaving the cinema hall, with a nice healthy buzz and humming Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture to myself (which by the way, is used BRILLIANTLY in the film), I thought about the fact that Alan Moore had decided to disassociate himself from the flick (just like he did with From Hell, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen and Constantine). His inability to accept and understand that a medium shift from print to celluloid will require the story to be revamped is something that truly saddens me.

Final Verdict: In my personal list of very good comic-book-inspired films, one would expect to find such luminaries as X2, Hulk, Spiderman 2, Judge Dredd, Batman Forever, Akira, the Ninja Turtles movies, Constantine and Sin City. I would have no problems whatsoever with adding V for Vendetta to that list.